Masculine and Feminine
Menopause -
Curse or Blessing?
by Janneke Koole
Menopause is defined as the natural cessation of menstruation that usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 (cf. Mirriam Webster Dictionary). The first three letters (men) refer to the ancient Greek word for month, and so menopause signals the end of a woman’s monthly bleeding.
This change in life is often called a “climacteric” which means a major turning point or critical state. Another advantage to using the term climacteric is that it is not gender specific, for although this article focuses on women’s menopause, it is well-known and documented that men go through their own transition at a comparable stage of life. Climacteric also refers to the sudden and marked rise in the respiratory rate of fruit just prior to full ripening, a wonderful metaphor for women to embrace when this change occurs in their bodies. We are ripening rather than drying up.
I imagine that I can live my life, question my experience and change my conditions. (The fifth Imagining of the Grandmothers)
Menopause is a natural opportunity, a catalyst for change. For many women, it represents a transition to a new phase in their lives, a sort of rebirth or second spring. Very much like puberty, when a young girl begins her monthly bleeding, menopause (when this bleeding cycle ends) prompts a movement within the physical body that calls for a total emotional, mental, and spiritual reorientation. This change is as inevitable as any other cycle in nature. How each woman responds to this change creates either increased stress and/or alignment, pain and/or pleasure, dysfunction and/or prowess.
Menopause is like any other journey. What you experience depends to a great extent on how you shape it, on how you respond within the experience each day. We cannot control our journey’s bumps, jolts, nor many of the detours just as a car could have a flat tire on a road trip even though we checked each tire’s treat and air pressure before leaving. What we can control, however, is how we respond to such events. When a tire goes flat, we have to pull over, rummage through the trunk to locate all the jack pieces, and change the tire. We can swear, stomp around, and slam doors. We can sing, dance, or laugh our way through it. It’s our choice. Either way, the spare tire replaces the flat and the event becomes part of our journey.
In the 1940’s researchers perfected the first estrogen pill (Premarin) and menopause became a medical condition rather than a natural transition. Within a few years, millions of American women were taking this new “miracle” drug that made mood swings, hot flashes, and other undesirables disappear. Coupled with the aging of the “baby boomers”, hormone replacement therapy has become a big business in America.
Each woman is unique; each woman’s journey into the “golden age” is individual. We come to this time in our life with an accumulation of stress, physical conditioning, and mental patterning that will inevitably influence how we experience menopause. Genetics also appear to have a significant impact. Some say, “Ask your mother how she went through this stage and you’ll have a good idea what to expect.” However, coming from a family of six girls, I have not found this to be valid at all. We definitely have had six very different experiences.
I imagine that all information must be questioned by me to learn.
(The 10th Imagining of the Grandmothers)
In this day of easy access to information, women are advised to do their own research and preparations. Read the different points of view—but do not believe anything you read! Then, go into ceremony or introspective meditations with your body. Listen to what she needs and desires. Look up the stories of the tribal peoples who esteem their menopausal women as the wise ones, the dreamers of the future for the people. Research the herbal remedies, the alternative healing ways, the practices that utilize this time of change for the empowerment of the feminine. We are at choice. We have the knowledge, the wheels and keys, the stories and ceremonies to make this transition one of beauty and power.
The Twisted Hairs Grandmothers encourage us to birth ourselves into this golden age. Women are encouraged to gather together for the rites of passage ceremonies designed to awaken the “Eternal Grandmother” within and to activate the golden eggs of wisdom. These ceremonies confront the pretender voices that keep us bound to the common cultural myths of dysfunction, repression, and failure. For example, power surges (aka hot flashes) are moments of fast vibratory energy. Apply this energy for healing, purifying, and/or dreaming.
The eggs in our ovaries that were not discharged during our reproductive cycle now become active as potential dream spaces for the next seven generations. Our bleeding time was a reproductive time; our post-bleeding time is a procreative time. Rather than being fertile only once a month, we are now fertile each and every day. What are we doing with this fertility, this abundance, this opportunity? In the former tribal days, those who had their golden eggs activated were asked to birth a dream, a fulfillment of a tribal need, or a vision for the future of the people. These women would go into the dreaming lodge, the woman’s kiva, and dedicate their golden eggs to ensure this birthing.
In order for us to become such grandmothers, we must examine our beliefs, gather for ceremony, let go of all pretense, and establish a power base within WahKhan, the Great Grandmother, the Great Womb of Creation. One of the greatest blocks to actualizing this potential is the pretense that “we just don’t have the libido anymore” and the horror stories of dried up genitals. When we put this into the perspective of this much greater role, how is this possible? How can we not be passionately dedicated to doing whatever is necessary to prepare ourselves for the birthing of the future for our children, for the collective dreams?
Our wombs are no longer a place for a physical baby to grow. Now is the time for internal birthing of the Eternal Grandmother within. Our wombs now ache to be the spaces for the passionate birthing of dreams held within the golden eggs of Beauty, Freedom, Power, and Knowledge. Let’s change our old patterns, purify our body, discipline our self-pleasure, and dedicate our passion. Let’s birth ourselves strong enough to partner with the Universe!