Change is stressful. We feel fear of the unknown when we don’t know what is on the other side of change.
BY SARA REGESTER
Fall 2025
We all feel waves of uncertainty in the world around us. Many of us have been personally affected by the changes and upheavals in our workplaces and economic stability. We may bring this tension home, affecting our sleep and our ability to enjoy our downtime pleasures.
Stepping out of our comfort zone, even when we recognize we need to make a change, is like old slippers that fit well but need to be replaced with something new. Familiar patterns may keep us stuck in a well-worn groove, and breaking free to find a new way takes both courage to face our fear and determination to move forward.
Resistance to change and fear of the unknown will trigger our stress patterns. I call this our emotional soup- we stew in our emotional soup, which is spiced up with disempowering inner dialogue and sabotaging patterns that distract and numb us from reality.
We need to arm ourselves with an attitude and approach that makes us feel unshakable, especially in no-control situations and with people whom we cannot change.
We need tools to support how we navigate through arenas in life that we can change.
One basic principle about change and endings. When something ends or comes to completion, the energy of what we knew will always transform into a new energy. Death is not the end of something, but the beginning of something new. A new energy will emerge from what was lost. When we are attached to something that is going out of our lives, it will pull us out of presence and into the past, ruminating on the “what if scenarios.”
When letting go of something/someone in our lives, it is essential to be curious about what is coming next. There will never be a void, as new energy will always replace what was there. The metaphor that when one door closes, another will open is true.
How can we engage with the new emerging energy to adapt to our new reality? Our nature is to go into fear of the “What ifs” that trigger resistance to change. The solution is to stay curious about what is unfolding. We can ask “What is possible?”
Harvesting what we gain from loss is an essential step. If we stay in the circle of loss, we will be stuck in the past and ruminating on the old story or blaming ourselves or others for the change. An essential integration step for loss is to accept our personal gains from the experience. Ask ourselves, “How did I grow from that?” or “What did that experience provide for me to learn?”
Adversity teaches us self-authority. We are in self-authority when we don’t look outside ourselves for validation but trust our own inner truth. Fear keeps us stuck in the past or creates false narratives about the future.
Challenge teaches us self-responsibility. When we take action to engage and follow through with our commitments, we are taking self-responsibility. Fear blocks us from taking responsibility. When we are in doubt, resistance, or blame, we are not taking responsibility.
Success comes when we are accountable for our actions and decisions and learn from our mistakes as a step in the process to get better or become wiser. Success is based on our own integrity for how we engaged, and not on the actual outcome. Again, look inside for our own self-actualization and not outside for validation or approval.
Fear will block our courage to look inside for the truth of our success. Internal dialogue will justify and make excuses for the outcome. Even in a perceived loss, there is always a nugget of personal gain if we can stay open to how we gained from the engagement.
Here is a strategy to confront fear so we can be unshakable in the face of change.
Pregnant Pause Practice:
Take a few deep breaths into your lower belly to center yourself to hear the inner voice of reality.
More wisdom and practical tools to master your stress are found in “Courage to Shine: How to Feel Confident Outside Your Comfort Zone” on Amazon and Audible. www.Directions4Wellness.com sara@directions4Wellness.com
Sara Regester has been an apprentice of the SMSD Path since 2003. She is a qualified A-Road, teaching Red Lodge longhouse programs in Australia.
Sara brings the transformational SMSD teachings out into the world as an Integrative Health Coach through her international coaching practice at Directions 4 Wellness, LLC, where she offers her clients a glimpse of their own evolutionary awareness through their “Dharma Design Session” and Stress Mastery Programs.
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